Part three of what we've been up to...
Preparing the house for R and S
Since M and S will share a room and E and R will share a room, we've been working to make space for R and S. A shelf on a bookshelf. Half a closet. Dresser drawers. We don't have a ton of space to give them, but I want R and S to feel like they belong here, not that they are long-term guests.
We've put pictures of R and S wherever we have pictures of M and E, and I've tried to make everything recent photos rather than baby photos. We still have some de-cluttering work to do and some work in the playroom, but I think things are coming together pretty nicely. R and S have seen their beds a couple of times on our Skype calls and they seem happy and excited. I'm also going to make some movies of the house that we can watch while we're in Bulgaria.
Preparing our hearts for R and S
As I said in the last post, it's going to be really hard at first. We know that, and part of me isn't looking forward to it, but it's all part of the process. I feel like I've loved these kids as my own since I first saw their pictures and first heard about them, so that will make it easier. I can't explain it; I think it's a work of God - he put the desire on our hearts to adopt and is faithful to fill our hearts with the love, grace, and patience we'll need.
Please pray for us, especially while we're in Bulgaria and when we are first home with them. All adoption experts recommend "cocooning" with the children for the first couple months at home. That means we won't be going a lot of places with them - mostly staying home and building trust with them by meeting their basic needs and showing them love.
So, be patient if it is months until you meet the children - it's in their best interest. If you are wondering how you can help, feel free to contact me about bringing a meal, going to the store for us, or taking M and E to do something fun or to one of their activities. If you are out of town, or can't do those things, just pray for us!
The process of bringing these children home is kind of like giving birth. You prepare a lot of things ahead of time, but you really don't know what you are getting in to, or what you might need, until the children are here. We're as ready as we can be.
Part two of what we've been up to...
Vacation
In June, we were able to go on the annual beach vacation with Todd's family to Ocean Isle Beach, NC. We thought we wouldn't be able to do it this year, but it worked out that we were able to go. It was nice to have the time away and now that the kids are older, a beach vacation is actually relaxing! It was nice to have the time with Miles and Ella and do some of our traditional beach things (mini-golf, ice cream, souvenir shopping) with them one more time before adding other children into the mix. We were also there for Todd's birthday and went to Broadway at the Beach and rode a high-speed "jet boat." It's basically a high-powered speed boat that goes fast and spins around. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was really fun. I highly recommend it!
Saying 'Yes' to M and E
I don't know if there is really a way to prepare any of us for the next few months of life. When R and S come home, it's going to be really hard. That's all there is to it. They will miss their foster families, have to deal with new sights, sounds, smells, and tastes, and won't understand our language and how we do things.
All that is to say that we will likely be telling M and E 'no' a lot - no, we can't go out to eat; no, we can't go shopping; no, you can't play video games or watch TV right now. So, for the last few months, we've been trying to say 'yes' a lot. We haven't changed any rules about acceptable behavior or let them run wild, or lay in bed all day, but we've made a conscious effort to say yes to their requests instead of saying no.
They are both going to be great older siblings and talk about R and S a lot. They have also gotten out of bed at 7 a.m. on Thursdays to Skype with them - in the summer, that is nice to see!
Once again, my apologies for waiting so long between posts. I don't know how professional bloggers do it - both live life and blog about it - sometimes it seems like there aren't enough hours in the day for both! I started to write a post about what we've been up to, and it got so long, I decided to divide it into 3 posts. Here's part one.
Counting our blessings
Todd and I first talked about adopting even before we were married, so we always paid attention to adoption stories and know a lot of people who have adopted. One thing was always clear - no matter how you do it, adoption is expensive. In our case, with the adoption of siblings, it would cost at least $55,000 just to bring the children home. That doesn't include beds, clothes, toys, shoes, and post-adoption reports.
We started saving for the adoption and getting our finances in order before we began our home study paperwork. We knew it would be expensive, that we would have to make sacrifices, and that we would have to do fundraising because there was no way we could raise all the money ourselves. Todd started teaching online classes to raise money, and we put off vacations, big purchases, and house repairs to save for the adoption.
In the end of April, we were talking about some adoption finances at dinner and Todd asked me how much money we had left in our adoption account.
"Fifty dollars," was my reply.
"How much do we need?" he asked.
"At least $25,000, probably closer to $30,000."
M and E were very concerned - how are we going to pay for the adoption? How are we going to bring R and S home? (Then they offered to give us some of their money. Very cute and appreciated, but we told them to save it.) We told them that we didn't know, but that God would provide a way and that when he did, it would be a really neat story to tell R and S someday. That God so wanted them to be with us, that he did some incredible work to raise the money we needed. And he did.
People have been so generous. And not just people we know. Strangers who said, "keep the change" at our yard sale. Friends of friends who have never even met us and live halfway across the country. Friends of our parents who we've never met and will likely never even meet our children. Donors who give to grant organizations so families like ours can bring home orphans. Just like all the adoption expenses added up to a huge expense, all the donations add up to a huge blessing, and we now have the money we need to pay the final adoption expenses and take our trip to bring R and S home!
Thank you.
